Description

The first non-fiction book to explore the joys and complexities of adult sibling relationships
‘Truly enlightening, charming and moving. I’ve learned so much…but I’m still angry with my sister for reading my diary!’ Jane Garvey

‘It is our least discussed and most formative relationship and Catherine’s work is a hilarious, moving and fascinating guide through it.’ Chris and Xand van Tulleken

‘Whether you’re a sibling or an only child, Catherine Carr’s book will leave you wiser and feeling more at home in the world.’ Oliver Burkeman

‘Eye-opening and true. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my brother.’ Gok Wan

For most of us, our sibling relationships are the longest we will ever have. Whether loving or fraught, competitive or codependent, these bonds shape us in lasting ways.

In this heartfelt, judgment-free book, Catherine Carr invites us to look at our brothers and sisters beyond the labels assigned in childhood. Combining real-life stories with expert insight, she explores birth-order stereotypes, favouritism, trauma, blended families, only children, siblings with additional needs, and the pain of estrangement and bereavement.

Thinking about these relationships more deeply may help us better understand ourselves and the world around us.

*Interwoven with candid interviews with sibling pairs taken from her hit podcast, Relatively, such as Chris and Xand van Tulleken, Johnny and Lillie Flynn, Nick and Gill Hornby, Manni and Reuben Coe, and more*

Publisher Review

‘A moving, searching, deeply researched exploration of relationships so fundamental we sometimes stop noticing them altogether. Whether you’re a sibling or an only child, Catherine Carr’s book will leave you wiser and feeling more at home in the world.’ -Oliver Burkeman ‘This brilliant book makes me understand how complex and varied sibling relationships are. I thought I was lucky to be an only but now really wish I had a little sister.’ -Dame Jenni Murray ‘My relationship with my brother is so joyful, so productive and so important for understanding who I am. It’s also the most likely to lead to murder by strangulation. This book is essential reading: we all have siblings in our lives, even if they’re other people’s. It is our least discussed and most formative relationship and Catherine’s work is a hilarious, moving and fascinating guide through it.’ -Chris and Xand van Tulleken ‘Truly enlightening, charming and moving. I’ve learned so much…but I’m still angry with my sister for reading my diary!’ -Jane Garvey ‘Sibling relationships are one of the great unexplored human subjects. Catherine Carr writes about them with warmth, insight and intelligence, exploring everything from the funny private languages siblings share to the deep sadness of estrangement between brothers or sisters. Whether you are older, younger or middle, step or only, you will find pieces of yourself in this loving and informative book.’ -Bee Wilson ‘A brilliant dissection of the most fascinating subject. Illuminating and riveting from beginning to end.’ -Gill Hornby ‘Eye-opening and true. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my brother.’ -Gok Wan MBE ‘Catherine Carr has written a perceptive book exploring a rich and complex subject. By blending real life stories with the insights of specialists, she illuminates a diverse range of sibling relationships with the intelligence, warmth and sensitivity that her radio programmes invariably display.’ -Jonathan Dimbleby ‘A seminal work on siblings. Authoritative, informative, calming, sense-making, inclusive and above all else immensely readable.’ -Annalisa Barbieri ‘In Who’s the Favourite, Catherine Carr offers a vivid and insightful exploration of the complex relationships between siblings. With warmth and clarity, she examines how sibling relationships form and inform an individual’s identity and life. Carr’s engaging narrative style brings a fresh perspective to a topic often overlooked. She highlights favoritism, bereavement, estrangement and the vital role brothers and sisters play as our shared historians. A must-read for anyone interested in understanding the enduring bonds of siblings.’ -Fern Schumer Chapman, author of Brothers, Sisters, Strangers ‘It’s so refreshing to read a book that explores the entire spectrum of sibling experiences. Thank you for dedicating a chapter to the complex journey of growing up with a disabled brother or sister – siblings sharing this experience will truly feel seen.’ -Clare Kassa, CEO, Sibs ‘The bond between siblings is unlike any other relationship. Who’s the Favourite? reminds us so wonderfully how powerful, complicated and important siblings are, even when one of you is no longer here. Sibling grief can be overlooked and under-appreciated, with many feeling like forgotten mourners. I’m delighted that this book shines a light on our stories and gives us a voice, too.’ -Callum Fairhurst, Founder of Sibling Support ‘Relatively podcaster Carr mixes research, cultural criticism, and personal anecdotes for this informative debut study of the complexities of sibling relationships… Carr keeps the pace brisk by leavening research-heavy passages with chatty, vivid anecdotes – both her own and those gleaned from her podcast. The result is a thought-provoking, expansive look at an important but understudied familial bond.’ -Publisher’s Weekly